So hello again Bloggs.

I'm really enjoying the football. Imbluefella used to love it because I was training him to ring his little bell every time there was a goal. 'It's a goal Imbluefella' I shouted and he goes tweet a couple of times and look at me like a lizard, just blinking and shuffling. 'Well go on then, ring the ****** bell' and sometimes he would. I don't usually use bad language in front of him because it's bad for him and he might repeat it in front of visitors like Dennis or Angela or Auntie Ruth, although Dennis wouldn't mind much I don't think.

But sometimes he wouldn't ring his bell even if I did mime for him like the vicar used to heaving up and down on the big rope. Then I would remind him that in arboriginal language 'bujerigar' meads 'quite tasty'.

But anyway, Imbluefella has gone now and is helping to grow the mustard and cress in the windowbox.

So far my favourite game was when Italy and America invaded each other for an hour and a half. It wasn't the blood and violence that I liked because I think we should not have any of that at all, except in the proper time and place, which is war. It was seeing America joining everyone else in playing a proper game instead of their own game of two sets of rhinos barging about and falling over every 3.2 seconds. Then adverts.

And it was good to see Italy who think they are oh so super being held up to dry by Americans of all people.

Actually I think it has been very clean matches more or less. Not nearly as many divings and stimulations as they keep going on about, like when a forward gets within a couple of lengths of the penalty box and suddenly hurtles into the air and falls over three times rolling closer and closer to the goal clutching his ankle and side like a wounded Jesus and grimacing like he was having all his teeth pulled out through his ears and lies there howling to himself and hoping we will all be impressed with how brave he is with all his ribs smashed to jelly. And then sudddenly if the ref ignores him he's back up on his legs and dashing off like a labrador after a moth in the kitchen (which I have seen) and no thought for his terrible injuries.

Dennis had a brilliant idea for all this diving which he sent to Gary Lineker who talked about it on Match of the Day. It is another card, like a yellow card, but PINK and with frilly white lace all the way round the edges. So if someone does deliberate diving, the refereee waves a PINK card with fluffy white lace at the Big Hero who is cheating like a spoilt little girl. Dennis says that it would sort the ******** out overnight because it would make them look like big ******* girls ******* blouses and they wouldn't ******* like that.

He says the PINK card would be the same as a yellow and would be Mix'n'Match, so any two equals a red card and the ******* ******** are hauled off the field for a good ******* slapping in the cells.

I haven't seen Dennis this week and want to ask him how he got on with his interview for joining the police.

So well Bloggs.. what do you think of Dennis's PINK card idea? And the pretty fluffy frills round it? Somehow I don't think Fifi will start using it because it would bring the game into disrepute or something. They would rather have people diving all over the place like Esther Rantzen used to in those old films and getting fair players really annoyed but can't do anything. So I think Fifi should really think about it.

The toaster is pretty good again. It was the lid off the Marmite was stuck in it and melted and the toast got all mangled up with it and tasted horrible. Alright now except a loud buzzing which is annoying.

I do miss Imbluefella much more than I think.

Bye now Bloggs.